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This morning I woke up hungry and ready to eat. As I slowly approached the refrigerator the reality of what my options were made my stomach growl even louder. I had three boxes of cereal with no milk. My mind began to search for heftier options like scrambled eggs, toast, hash browns and a tall glass of orange juice. I knew this would be a meal that would surely satisfy my hunger. Yet, reality shook my fantasy again and said No! None of those options were available. I faced the truth that this morning I would unintentionally fast. Slipping into a new line of thinking, I begin to see how this physical manifestation of “starvation,” was a forecast of what has been happening in my life holistically.
In essence, I am broke(n). The moment of manifested starvation, made me realize I had nothing to offer myself. My resources were low and there was no one around to “carry my load.” Sure, I could have borrowed food from my neighbor, visited a local food pantry, or even scrapped up a couple bucks and went grocery shopping. All of these options would have sufficed. Yet, in the same rite I would have momentarily satisfied my hunger only to be left reeling with the same options of nothingness in the morning.
When you are starving in life, where do you turn? What are your options? So often, I have turned to “fast food” options to satisfy insatiable hungers. These quick fix “fast food” options of life are called distractions.
“Distraction: the illusory expectation of some fulfillment, which in the end is only human loneliness,” A Year with Thomas Merton, Johnathan Montaldo.
Life distractions come in the form of doing insignificant things to past time, drinking, taking drugs, having excessive sex, gossiping on the phone about other people, shopping in debt, overspending, etc. At what point in life do you decide you are not going to starve anymore? When you loose your job? When you husband/wife leaves you? When your kids push you to the side? When your boss says you are not worthy enough? When your mother/father dies? When do you come to a breaking point of saying enough is enough?
I came to my breaking point this morning when I realized I needed more than a quick fix for the day. I choose to wake up every morning and have the option to “cook and eat” whatever I want. In times past, what has satisfied my hungers most is sitting in quite solitude, talking to God and resting in his request. When I let the worries of the world flow out of my mind and just be myself, things seemed to be much easier. More and more I am leaning toward that hefty serving everyday. Maybe tomorrow’s meal options will be more satisfying.
What are you hungry for today?