You were created to help and be helped — but the first course of action is to help yourself.
We were all born into this world having to depend on the services of someone else: our parents, guardians, family, etc. As a child, we were groomed to have our needs met in a way that would enable us to grow into mature adults. In maturity, the natural rite of passage is take what we have learned and help someone else. Usually this act is reciprocated through mother/fatherhood, adoption, taking care of pets, donating services/money to the poor, etc.
Sometimes our “help training” gets lost in translation. As adults, either we are not helping people at all (self-centered), or we are helping so much that we forget who we are in the process. It’s time to break the imbalance!
As a mother and professional, I was constantly in a mode of, “I am superwoman and I have everything I need to make it on my own.” I would over extend myself because it seemed like I was accomplishing more when I was doing more. I would lash out at others who offered help because I did not want to feel weak or inadequate. I was the help, so how could I ask for it? By the end of the day, I went to bed grouchy, overworked and mentally burnt out. After 10 years of suffering in this lifestyle, I decided something needed to change and it had to start with me.
Before giving help, we must first look inside of ourselves and learn who we are as individuals, before we can effectively help someone else.
“It all starts with making a commitment to yourself and then learning how to communicate your needs to others. Keep your commitments to yourself so that you have the time, energy and other resources to help others when and how you can. You’re living life on your own terms. By doing so, you’re serving your needs and requirements first so that you can actually be in a better position to help others. Unbelievable as this may seem, it’s actually a win-win situation for everyone.” Krissy Jackson.
So, how can I help you?